Scientists Confirm Limbaugh Slowly Morphing Into Giant Cane Toad

The Cretonia Times-Picayune

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MIAMI, FLORIDA – (CT&P) – Researchers at the Banzai Institute have confirmed that conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh is slowly changing into a gigantic cane toad, or Rhinella marina.

“There’s no doubt about it,” said Professor Toichi Hikita, leader of the research team, “we analyzed tissue samples from Mr. Limbaugh, and he is definitely undergoing a metamorphosis into a colossal toad.”

Cane toads are giant neotropical toads native to Central and South America, but have been introduced into other parts of the world and are considered one of the most destructive invasive species on earth. Australia in particular has an immense cane toad problem.

canetoad2 Rumors began circulating about Limbaugh’s health after he ordered a platter of live field mice in a five-star Miami restaurant just before Christmas.

“You can’t imagine how evil these little blokes are,” said Dr. Bruce Bruce from Humpybong University in Queensland. “They’re full of venom that…

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